Monday, 28 December 2009

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now..

Once or twice I've mentioned that I visit a lot of blogs, and that some of them belong to er, 'celebrity' scrapbookers. People who have become known throughout our world for their products or style, and quite rightly so. You know of course, that my nosiness likes the blogs because they chat about their perfect, blessed lives and post photos of their immaculate homes and I'm extremely envious, no doubt. I wouldn't swap my lovelies of course, but oh my, the space some of these people have to live in.. Anyway, I thought you may like to see the beauty of my Christmas holiday. Here's my gorgeous tree, it's been up for two weeks and looks lovely. I say looks, because it has of course lost that fresh tree smell. I say looks because you can't touch it, for luck, or to admire an ornament. Because of course, it'll be bare naked devoid of any green if you so much as waft in it's direction. You can see the lower branches are actually drooping, bless it. And this is the result of a pint of water a day! The presents, by the way, are not for show, they are still to be given. Three of them are for friends who came over on Christmas Eve, and I had one G&T too many and completely forgot about them; others are for family who we won't see until this evening - family and giving being the spirit of the Season and all.
And here's a shot of the Christmas table; by day - because I can't get the exposure right to show you the twinkly rich effect of all my candles and fairy lights upon a table laden with culinary perfection. That beautiful snowflake at the window - one of a series by Miss Dunnit, I might add - is a wintery way of letting the birds know not to fly into the glass, birdicide on Christmas day whilst we're trying to enjoy our turkey is a bit difficult to erm, swallow, really. So there you have the perfection of my Christmas....wanna see some of the ghastly reality?
Here's the war zone that my landing has become; that pile of laundry is the tops and darks accumulated since Christmas Eve and the ladder is because Mr Dunnit's idea of a holiday day is to carry on working in the attic (he's converting it....into what, I do not know...and will not go see until there's a proper staircase. No sir. Fat middle aged women with one teeny shred of dignity left do not do ladders.) And then for poops and giggles, gaze upon the pile of clean laundry waiting to see a hot iron. I know. How did that happen? I turned my back and had 3 days off. So there we have it. Now, if you've got 15 children under 10 and have scrapbook product deadlines that only allow you one day off and 6 hours sleep per night, admit it - someone else is doing your laundry, right? And girl, if that's not the case here are two pieces of advice:
1. I do not want to know...there are too many blog posts to write about you.
2. Find someone to help you out. We humans need the work.

16 comments:

Ann said...

I'm speechless again Julia - can't stop laughing!
Those 'Papercrafting Divas' don't post as often as you do(they can't find the time!)and I would rather read what you have to say than their self-gratifying posts anyday!
A dose of your hilarious reality makes my day!

Jennie said...

lol..this post made me smile.. but you should look in the garden shed where we hid everything that was mess, including tools that DH is using to remedy the kitchen, old magazines, newspapers, and general everyday clutter just in case anyone came round :) did they?.. errr no! Now I have to empty the shed and put everything back to the mess it was a day before Xmas.
P.S. mm cleaners would be nice and even nicer someone who did my washing!
xx

Deanne said...

right there with ya lol wait till you see my tree!!! I'll post it later lol x happy happy festive season. I too will not venture into our attic as he generally uses my shoulder to hoist himself up there! nooooo way!!!!

Linda Elbourne said...

Your reality is so funny Julia ... But I digress ... I find myself strangely drawn to the ... your opinion is valuable bit ... Has it always been there??? I don't think I have noticed it before. Of Course my tree still looks perfect ... it being truly evergreen ... IYKWIM ... that clearly is not a scrap goddess thing to do ... have a fake tree ... mind you I don't really scrap either ... but goddess ... as you well know ... I have been a domestic goddess since birth ... I simply choose to ignore those qualities and let John get on with it :0)

Artyjen said...

Can't be doing with Goddesses..although it is nice to have a nosey! ;) LOL
Made me laugh today...thanks!
xoxo

Pam said...

Well what can I say those divas are not half as funny as you! I also have to admit I do have a washing and ironing fairy, he does all the washing over the weekend and all the ironing on a Monday evening, I've a feeling the ironing board may materialise behind me any minute now. Now I am properly back on line and when I finally manage to work out how to put photos on the new laptop which doesn't have infa-red(!) then I will put a photo of our christmas tree on our blog its still in full bloom as it was at least 2foot too high to come in the lounge and is now resident in the very cold conservatory(!).

Hugs Pam xx

redsmudge said...

Hi Julia! I loved this post!! I would far rather read your posts than any celebrity blogs!!! I am pleased to see that other people do have piles of washing/ironing around the place! Could Mr D be creating a top of the pile craft space perhaps??? Alas, my tree is not a real one but it is bedecked in Disney ornaments!

Sheilagh (60 x60) said...

Great Post, I love your sense of humour and reality.
We are just back for my daughters and they is a pile of washing on the kitchen floor as I cruise round Blogland... I don't feel so bad about it now;o)

Thanks

Sheilagh

CoventryAnn said...

You can hardly get into my Utilty room (I know i'm lucky i have one as i can just shut the door and try to forget the contents of it!) for all the washing hanging about, it's like Widow Twankeys in there, and ironing.... what the hell is that?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carmen said...

Julia, I love you! Seriously, I do! Trying not to laugh to loudly so as not to wake the three slumbering beasts on the sofa otherwise known as Craig, Devon & Ruby.

Up until tonight our tree still had presents under it, the dog has learnt to scale it and steal angels away to their death!

Don't you hate it when you ask the celebs how they do it and the answer is 'oh I just don't like sitting still' like we are sitting on our fat posteriors letting the chaos just happpen by choice? Ok, maybe sometimes... but seriously don't they realise how rude that sounds? Anyway - half of them never return the visit so my chaos and clutter stays a secret :P

Blankiefinder said...

LOL, Julia! Too funny! I feel the same way sometimes when visiting blogs... how do they do it? What am I doing wrong? lol... oh well, I just need to accept reality- I do not have the drive or ambition to keep a perfect house, or even clean a single room to perfection. This year I decided I wasn't behind on Christmas this year, I'm just ahead of schedule for next year! :)

Wishing you a wonderful 2010! Thanks for sharing with us, I enjoy visiting your blog regularly!

Wipso said...

Oh Julia. Thanks for being you. I just love your blogs and rarely leave them without at least a smile on my face.
A x

my5bratz said...

love love LOVE your posts, great for a laugh

Lyn said...

Had to chuckle too - there's nothing like a dose of reality in all that alleged perfection.

My usual, organised, on-top-of-everything went well and truly out of the window this year, and, I was still wrapping presents on Christmas morning, DH have chuntered several times something about he has never known me to be that far behind in all the (34) years he has known me.

I do however, still have the Perfect Tree. A Real, Proper Plastic Tree that wouldn't dare shed anything even if I stood at the base and shook it! Ok, ok, I know, I'm a heathen ....

Tilly said...

Ohhh Julia you made me laugh this morning as I was blopping along, I came by your blog, and had to have a read, I love the birdicide quote and am glad I'm not the only middle aged lady that wont go up ladders!!!, and I also have the problem with washing, as fast as i finish it, more appears out of nowhere, but then having 6 kids in the house over xmas probably explains it. My best wishes for the newyear, looking forward to catching up with you once normal service resumes, and I'm going to join in ith the wednesday desk pics too. Jayne xx

Diane said...

You are so funny!!! I'm glad I found your blog Have a great day...
Diane in Maryland