Ten things to do....

When your Internet service disappears

1. Keep trying to get the connection...by sitting at the screen and hitting the 're-try' button.  For longer than is good for you.
2. Swear and give up.  Remove self from PC and check iPad for signs of life in the ether.  This confirms it.  Swear again.
3. Pace about a bit.  Decide to try some other fixes...come at it from a different angle.  Turn it off and turn it back on.   It usually works, right?
4. Whine like a baby when ' the fix' doesn't work .  Sulk till someone comes home and you can whine at them too. Sulk a bit more when it becomes apparent that it's not threatening their life like it's threatening yours.
5. Puff and wheeze a bit when the suggestion is made to USE THE PHONE to contact the service provider.  Sulk because no -one else is going to do it.
6. Speak nicely and be friendly to the Service Provider.  He is now after all, the link to your entire life.  Offer in a round-about and embarrassing way to cook him a nice tea if he can sort it out just for you.  And then....well, you just have to wait.  
7. Remind yourself about the pre-internet days and the life you had.  Can't remember that far back?  No me neither.  Start on overdue paperwork.
8. Cook a batch of chilli con carne, sweet vegetable chilli, chicken curry and spanish chicken. Check the connection each time you step into the room that houses your PC. Ring the service provider and remind them that you're still a very nice person and still without a connection and try emotional blackmail.  Explain that you have no life outside and that your emotional well being is dependant upon Internet access. Convince yourself that the stunned silence is due to a faulty line rather than the operator's horror at your neediness.
9. Consider overdue paperwork and making a start on the tax return.  Consider writing loads of witty and amusing blog posts for scheduling.  Consider some housework.  
10. Feel less guilty about sitting slumped and bad tempered in front of the tv for a third evening, get back to the crochet.

Yes gentle reader, now I'm back in the land of breathing ether and I bring you this list by way of a warning; how not to cope. There are lots of lists.  This is not one I'm proud of, but in my defence, this isn't a witty and urbane scheduled post. I was so busy sulking that I didn't quite get around to fulfilling any considerations.  But, we're OK for frozen dinners, come the revolution.