Thursday, 10 March 2011

Ok, so this may be a bit...suggestive..shocking...

If you read this recent post, you will be familiar with the idea of me turning to crochet. Miss Dunnit and I set about making the same thing at the same time to see how cute these little amigurumi (now I know the real name!) would look in different yarns. I drew the mutlicoloured straw, so to speak. So , you can see from the picture that the elephant is worked in body parts and the body and head are one piece. It's an american pattern, so the stitches and stitch shorthand differ a bit, but I think I'm working it along alright!). Anyway, the point here is that the body is worked and then you have to increase the stitches to start the 'swell' for the head,
and as you get to decreasing, so you stuff it, that way when you cast off, the job is finished. Then you start on the little cylinders for trunk, legs and tail. Cute. Well, my good friend and confidante and chum and all round supporter, Lunch lady Jan did visit. With a lemon drizzle cake. (And no, you can't have her, she's MY friend.) We had chatted about this new 'project' and she was keen to see. And when she saw, she fell about laughing. She roared, giggled, cried and almost put her back out. Now, is it the choice of multicoloured yarn? My rubbishy stitches? I have no idea. But this is what caused her the biggest laugh of the year so far. And nearly caused a back strain. It's on the hook the correct way around...if you want a different angle, you'll have to turn your screen around. Mr Dunnit called it 'porn for crocheters'. Personally, I'm offended.

54 comments:

Karen said...

er....porn? As if you would...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha HUGS XXX

Mrs Ham said...

OMG!!! I needed that laugh. Porn for crocheter's. I love that.

Anna said...

That is very funny, and a great laugh that will repeat throughout the day as I remember it. Maybe you could go into business making cozies for men who work out of doors in the winter?

Di said...

So, so funny!! You commented on WOYWW that I'd faint if I saw what was on your desk. I guess you meant yesterday but I hopped back for another peek and found this and had the vapours - in between laughing my head off!! Di x

Anonymous said...

Owowowow - my back hurts from laughing again!!!! Lololololol :) xxxx LL Jan xxx

Wipso said...

When I started crochet I started off with squares....this is far more fun :-) Love it.
A x

Twiglet said...

Is your book designed by A. Summers by any chance? Rand-om!

LadyBug said...

Oh Dear!!!! I very nearly wet myself!

Mummylade said...

hahaha

Caroline Hallett said...

Hilarious - roaring with laughter here - thanks x

Kirsty.a said...

Thanks for a giggle at the end of the working day

Rumtruffle said...

There is a place for this item that you've made check this out...

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/WILLY-WARMER-WINTER-KNITWEAR-WILLIES-ADULT-GIFT-/220708955458?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&hash=item3363476542

Sherry Edwards said...

LOL, that's so funny!

Helen said...

Thank goodness I didn't see this before I left work - then I would have been properly found out for blog hopping at work!! Nearly fell off the footstool I'm perched very uncomfortably on. Sooo funny!

voodoo vixen said...

LOL Julia!! Reminds me of when my Mum started crocheting pot handle holders in the shape of vegetables...you would imagine that it was a harmless enough pastime the carrot was hysterical and always referred to as the 'willy warmer'...

sasa said...

Sniggering away here. Looking at the mag but just can't muster up an elephant. Oh well it's all nature I suppose. Just wondering how things might develop if you were to run up the two ears right now...?
I started dabbling in crochet two weeks ago. Flowers went well but my heart came out like a pancreas. We could join forces and create a biological study...Soldier on my dear, I want to see Nellie...
Sarah

Claireliz said...

Oh Julia, that is so funny, I almost spat my brew over the screen :D Well done to Mr D for his perfectly timed comedy :) Can't wait to see your finished elephant.
C
xx

Jingle said...

HA! That is hilarious!!!! Too funny!

Marianne@RuffHaven said...

This post and the comments above will keep me laughing all day.

Airing cupboard stamping said...

Can you ake me one for J's birthday he would love it lol!!!!!

nicandalfie said...

OMG!! after they day ive had this is THE best thing ever! io laughed out loud and sprayed the screen with coffee!!!!! a most excellent dirty mind!

Starla said...

OMG! I'm dying of laughter! Thanks for the giggle!

Scrapcat 1 said...

lol laughed so much OH and DD came through to see what was so funny.

Lyn said...

*HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER* Oh Jules, thank you, thank you, thank you, I really needed that after the week I've had - HYSTERICAL!

Good luck with the rest of it... and I dread to ask what you are going to stuff it with .....

misteejay said...

I was just so glad that I hadn't taken a swig of coffee before I scrolled down...

If you get fed up with the animals you could always diversify - the armed forces have been known to be most appreciative of 'warmers for the neather regions' as it gets very cold in the desert of a night (apparently) LOL

Toni :o)

alexa said...

Spluttering in my tea here! And the colours are such a good match for ... you know, The Real Thing ... :)

okienurse said...

ROFLMBO! Your DH is right it does have a slightly pornish look to it! Like someone above said above there may be a market for willie warmers out there if you get tired of making animals!
Vickie

Doone said...

that is definitely a scrotal sack, a willie warmer, a python bag,

it is Not an Elephant,

Doone said...

i am still laughing

Lisa aka Myran said...

thank you julia! i needed that laugh :)

Scrapcollectr said...

ROTFLOL
I think it qualifies as the kind of project you don't show anyone til it's finished! Hee hee.
It will be quite the conversation piece when it's done (cuz you can tell this story).
*smile*

Mrs A. said...

I'm sure it will look perfect once its stuffed!!

peggy aplSEEDS said...

LOL! hilarious! no wonder it nearly caused a back strain!

Amy said...

Julia!
I really Really REALLY need that elephant. I can tell you why. Go look at Donna's post. Ignore the post and look at my comment - QUICK!
See? See!? I LOVE elephants. Okay. Can I have it? MAke it be an elephant and give it to amy.
Okay?

KanataNewf said...

tee hee hee hee
tee hee hee hee

"crochet porn"

tee hee hee hee

and lemon drizzle cake sounds delish.

scrappystickyinkymess said...

Http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com

You will love it. And I must find my photo of frankenturkey, with the suggestive squash in the background. It will make you smile as well.

And your crochet looks very competent to me, for a beginner. Very impressed.

MA

Dragon said...

Lol you are SO funny!!!!! Gave me a great laugh this morning.... If younwant an aww moment, pop and see my new kittens!!!
Frankie
xx

Spyder said...

aw, poor you, I think you've done super! It's taken me back to my school days. Picture me aged 7 (still in the wrong school uniform, because Iwas a newbie) and the teacher holding up my 'knitting'for all to see and the whole class crying with laughter...(The shame) I've never got over it.
Happy Friday!!
(Lyn)

Fiona Whitehead said...

oh my - where do the batteries go? lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carmen said...

Oh gawd, snot bubbles, snot bubbles!

This is hilarious.... and the colours just add to it! Poor LL Jan!

Kate said...

I've seen crochet thingys like that on Etsy, but yours looks far more realistic!

** Kate **

Liverpool Lou (Anne) said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Thanks for that, I was in need of a good laugh!
Your heffalump will be simply wonderful when complete ;-)
Anne xx

misteejay said...

If you would like to drop by my blog I have a little something for you - and no!!! it is not a willy warmer pattern...

Toni :o)

RosC said...

Now the return of 70s fashions is complete, Julia. Platform shoes, low waist pants, orange kitchen utensils, AND the willie warmer. I'm hugging my aching laugh muscles.
Ros. :-))

Pam said...

hahahahaha...I think I felt the ground rumbling from all the laughing going on...hahahahah...not touching this one w/a 10 foot pole....hahahhaaha...

Sam said...

Talk about ROFPML! Double it as my husband is ROFPHL too!!!

Pam said...

hahahahaha....I swear I felt the earth shaking a couple a days ago and now I know it was from all the laughing going on over this post....hahahahaha....I'm not touching this w/a 10 foot pole....hahahaha...I think I might be offended too...I also think you better hurry up and stuff it.

Angie said...

I do see what he means .... lol lots xx

Piddawinkle said...

rofpml
it's a definite classic

Darcy said...

Rofling oh soooooo much, how could you not have noticed as you were crocheting, hahahahaha oh dear, so funny. It is a Trouser Snake!

Minxy said...

Er Um i'm not sure what she could possibly be laughing at.. i don't see anything funny.. oh other then the big pinkish cock shape PSML, oh dear, you couldn't make it up is you tried, too funny!

Rachel said...

What's funny about it? I don't understand! All you've done is crochet a condom. Not very practical, but safe!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful laugh with us all. And thank you for visiting me. I like to think that my knife skills have improved, but it's always cool to hear someone else thinks so too!

kaz said...

You should start taking orders.
Well funny.
Crafty Kaz.

Jana said...

This is hilarious. Thanks for the giggle.