Thursday 15 December 2022

Under the influence

I realised this year that my sweet late Mama is present in almost all of my Christmas preparations, and despite those preparations and the rush and bustle, that gentle, background grief has smacked me into full on missing her again. Talk about not realising the obvious, and that other cliche…you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
We don’t do the same thing every year, expect that we do really. By which I mean, we put up a tree, but not always in the same place. In fact, for the last three years, we’ve put up two trees, just like Penny did. We don’t always have loads of fairy lights strung about the place, but some years we do. Penny used to have them all around the little village on the mantelpiece, entwined amongst greenery on the lounge window sill and wherever she could find a socket. I don’t do it as tastefully, but I’m pretty fond of little lights, and use them wherever I can. Spare socket allowing of course! I have a lot of nick-knack type Christmas ornaments which I dot about the place, creating small clusters that always involve a tea light. There are tree ornaments that absolutely have to appear, and there are foods that I cook or buy that I wouldn’t dream of not having on the table at Christmas.
And directly under Penny’s influence, there are a couple of things that won’t be on my Christmas lunch menu. Turns out it’s controversial, but I never do Yorkshire Puddings with any roast other than Beef, so they won’t be there. I don’t know why, it’s entirely a matter of choice isn’t it, but I can’t break the habit/tradition/Mum rule. Can’t say that the people around my table don’t comment on it, because they do, but it hasn’t stopped them coming for Christmas, so it’s obviously not too important! And here’s where Penny's influence is merely a memory: Bread Sauce. I don’t get it, never liked it and do not make it. And when I don't do it, Mama is front and centre of my mind, because to this day I’m not convinced that she liked it! So this Christmas I will be safely gathered in and surrounded by people I love, I’m a very lucky woman. And anyone that wants to can stop by and visit; sample the hospitality that I now realise is a part of my legacy.

7 comments:

Robyn said...

I hear you and raise you a we dont have to do it the same every year! My brilliant Sister in law says, be careful what you do at the holidays, it will become a tradition!
right now with the new gen of littles, they are the star of the show, and our only tradition is
NO STRESS! we will be together, delight in their delights, take naps when we can and be grateful for the food- what ever it is , upon th table, adn some on the floor!
big love to you Julia!

Helen said...

What a very moving post.

I never have Yorkshires except with beef, either, but as I do beef when I have Christmas dinner I'm sorted! As it's just me, i buy them though. Isn't it funny how you continue things in your own home that your parents did, here it is a half grapefruit for breakfast (prepared the night before with lots of sugar on it to sweeten overnight..) My brother has continued this tradition too...

Sylvia/LittleTreasures said...

I'm so glad you posted and shared. It's 3 a m and I've tossed and turned and Finally just got up fed the cat and ate 2 BIG Scotch a Roos ! All because all that you wrote about is on my mind. So now I'll do a post on it and you can pop over. It had too much here so I cut and will paste ! But it might be later in the day! I have to be careful ! Hugs to you, Momma's are missed and I was blessed with a good one.

Catriona said...

What a lovely tribute to your Mother, Julia. We always have yorkshire puddings as I’m married to a Yorkshireman’s son and the legacy lives on even though my father in law has been gine for many years. Catriona

Grollibot said...

Made me cry 😢

Lindart said...

What a lovely legacy and memory of you Mum. We are very traditionalist, especially hubby, and now that we have a granddaughter, DD is trying out some new traditions, but tryin to keep as many old ones as possible! We are going to them this year, we have never done that before, they have always come to us, so we will be experiencing our SIL's family traditions, which apparently are very different! When we get home we will have a big family "holiday" dinner and they will be coming to that. It will be an interesting year! What is on the plate you are showing, and what is bread gravy? Have great Christmas, Lindart

BJ said...

Oh I wish I was close enough to do just that. Our son isn't coming home for either his birthday (21st) nor Christmas so it will be our FIRST married Christmas without him! No other family to speak of so just us two doing the same old same old. So yes wish I lived nearer. BJ