Friday 29 May 2015

Left right left right...

I finally gave in to the demands of my car and went to the local pit stop to have a slow puncture mended. And this post is what happens if you sit me down for 40 minutes and let me observe.

Decoy photo of no relevance to the post. Spots and Stripes workshop last month.
The garage is run by a bunch of 16 year olds, I swear. Perhaps the head honcho is in his early twenties; you can single him out easily because he doesn't wear the striking blue filth barrier gloves on both hands. The hand he takes your money and taps the keyboard with is ungloved. And of course, as filthy as the gloved hand. His left ear is filthy too. It's his phone ear. I had time to study these things. I have a phone ear too. I swear that it's the better of my two ears for hearing. If I use my right ear, I feel as though I'm listening to you underwater. I expect it's a condition. As I approach my ringing phone, I have to remind myself to use my left hand to pick it up because I'm left eared. But I'm not left handed, which for phone use is very inconvenient, because I'm not left shouldered either. It makes me clumsy when I try to do other things whilst we're talking. Sometimes see, I unload the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen floor...and once or twice, I've tidied my desk whilst having a chat. I have witnesses.
In a way I wish I was left shouldered too, because then I could use a shoulder bag without resorting to strange arm gymnastics when I want to use my writing hand. The right hand. Sometimes all you want to do is check the time on your phone and it requires massive
amounts of shopping bag and handbag transference. I've started to reconsider my watch collection as positively useful rather than unworn art. Because being right handed, I wear my watch on my left wrist. Of course. 

Decoy again, you deserve it having got this far. Stripes this time.
Then there's the stairs and the legs. I'm definitely right legged and my best foot forward is the right one. I'd like you to have a picture of me springing about, best foot forward. Ahem. If I'm doing something that requires balance, then I start with my left so that I can waggle my right leg around as I trust it it to keep me upright. The 'step' into the joinery workshop is actually a broken in half breeze block (cinder block) and I don't mind saying that every day I approach it with caution....ladies of a certain age, however young in their Apprenticeships, do not want to fall over, across, through or down a threshold. Can you imagine. It's a left foot first, balance and then both feet on the block operation. Then, when equilibrium is guaranteed, best foot forward as usual. At my desk, there's a distinct regime too. My tool caddy is at left. Once selected and used, most often the tools are discarded at right. Scrap papers are at left and the basket for 'to be cleaned' stamps and blocks is at right. Scrap papers are used (oh yes they are) and the now dirty stamps...strewn anywhere. Left until I corral them into the right hand basket. I should rearrange the desk. But I fear further confusion. It's bad enough already, right? And if you're fearing for my sanity, think on. You've read right to the end!


voodoo vixen said...

and I did... read it to the end... and you know what they say about policemen looking young? its the same for garage mechanics... LOL
I have the same affliction! I can only use my left ear for the phone... mobile or house... it is always the left ear or I cannot hear... how weird, we are twins separated at birth!!

Lunch Lady Jan said...

How interesting! I shall have to watch you when we're out. I'm a leftie for everything except handwriting... threading a needle, phone ear, first leg forward. I wonder if it's something to so with left/right brain dominance? I simply cannot hold the phone to my right's alien, don't make me!!

shazsilverwolf said...

I'm also left eared, and ever since I fractured my right shoulder, left handed when using my mouse! And I do exactly the same when stepping up/onto something- left first for stability, then proceed as normal.I'm totally useless at balancing my phone between ear and shoulder though- I've cut off more conversations than I care to recall trying to do that.Hugs,Shaz xxxx

Sue said...

Fab cards.

I am right handed, but answer my phone with my left hand. I am left shouldered and right footed. However when I use to wear a watch I had it on my left wrist.

Well it takes all sorts:)


MrsC.x said...

lol i do love it when you go off on a ramble - you sound like just the person i love to sit and loose a few hours with and then you realise that basically you've talked about nothing at all lol but it was all important! :)

I also have my tool caddy on the left but papers are on the right - this started cos my desk was in a corner and that meant that the caddy didnt fall off when i did the patented 'push back whilst in grip of idea' move BUT when i moved into craft room and this was no longer a consideration i tried it with the caddy on the right and life was all out of bonk! i couldnt do anything out there just sitting at the desk made me feel ill and twitchy so back to the left it went and productivity increased :)

lol well looks like i can ramble too

see ya wednesday for WOYWW


Helen said...

I loved this and proper laughed out loud when I got to the end... I am right handed, but put my mascara on my left eye (when I bother) with my left hand, I totally can't use my right hand to do my left eye... Always wear my handbag on my left shoulder, but haven't noticed if I have "a" foot... must check it next time I walk somewhere... I really loved the two cards you tried to distract us with today ... did they fix your car in the end, whilst you were observing human nature?

pat brennan said...

You are a hoot, you really are.
I have to spend half a day in hospital once a month and last week the doctor that did my checks looked like he should have been in a boy band. The hair the tight trousers and ' well fit ' as my girls would say. It's very disconcerting when people do not live up to the stereotypical picture in your head. I can't say I've noticed wether I favour a foot,shoulder, eye etc: just to have them all working is an achievement for me Ha! Ha!

pearshapedcrafting said...

Ooer missus! Not only did I read your err... ramble - I re-read parts while working out what I am! !! A crazy mixed up old woman - that's what! Thanks for the giggle! Chrisx

Aileen said...

Really need to join this conversation. First let me say I love both cards, your colours work beautifully. Neat designs, both. I'm as left handed as they come except when eating dinner, think that maybe because the table was set for right handers all round and I never thought to change it. When you described your craft table, I visualised mine and its all set to the opposite so definetly left handed left shoulder left ear must be a true leftie. Love when people ramble, it breaks the monotony.

MaggieC (Silvercrafter) said...

I am right handed, left eyed and right footed. Phone has to be in the left hand and I am totally incapable of holding it between ear and shoulder. I always go down right foot first, partly to do with straining my right ankle three times in twelve months -the good go up to heaven, the bad go down to hell - that is how to remember which foot to use first for safety. I need to get my tyres checked out too for slow punctures, not to mention a reversing light which has gone. I use my right hand for the mouse but need two hands to type. My tools are in my bag to the left and papers mainly to the right. I rarely clean stamps since I learned that if you "season" them with Archival Black and allow it to dry, then the stamp works better. xx Maggie

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

What fun you have given us in this post. Of course, the distractions are great, too. Lovely, lovely cards.

On to more serious (or is it frivolous) stuff. I ALWAYS use speaker phone. You'll never catch me talking on the phone otherwise. I used to balance my phone on my shoulder until I got a phone with a speaker. I simply can't talk otherwise. Maybe it's because I can't hear, but mostly because I often am doing something else, too.

Now you're going to ask what I do when I go out and about. I'm one of 3 people left in the world who does NOT own a cell phone, so that is a moot point.

I can RUN upstairs, but can't seem to walk down them properly. And of course, it starts with my left foot because it's stronger.

So glad you shared this bit of wisdom and thoughtful reflection with us just in time for the weekend.

misteejay said...

I can switch ears when on the phone (does that make me ambi-ear'oled or something) but I am most certainly right shouldered. I can not have a bag over my left shoulder. I just can't keep it there for love nor money.
I am right=handed but I tend to do things like hand sewing in the direction that a 'leftie' would - my sewing teacher found it quiet amusing.
Have a great weekend Julia.
Toni xx

Sue Jones said...

I will pay more attention to what I do from now on- had not really noticed before :) I DO have to walk down stairs carefully now ( can run up ) my left knee can give way without warning, so I walk DOWN stairs like a little old lady just incase and always hold onto the rail ( who am i kidding- i AM a little old lady!)
BTW thank you SO much for my card and badge- it arrived this morning and will have pride of place on my desk xxxx

Maarit at Violets Corner said...

How interesting, Julia, we all seemed to be mixed up. I have a left ear and foot, but a right hand, it's very confusing...I'll have cuppa with a choccie and ponder on.

Love and hugs

Kyla said...

My word you did observe!
I am a true lefty which of course means I am in my right mind!


Belinda Basson said...

I am a right eared, footed, handed person...for all the same reasons. Unless I am painting walls, then I can use both left and right hands...starting as far as I can reach on the left, to the middle, pass to the right and stretch as far as I can right...then move the ladder and repeat! drives my DH demented...he is right ONLY!

Jac said...

having since found your blog, Im loving every visit, when Im reading I swear I can hear your voice (with my left ear) of course !! love the new makes and I like to people watch as well, see you on Wednesday for the next WOYWW x

Neet said...

Well put! You have obviously thought this one out.
Hugs, Neet xx (who stayed till the end)

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