Speak in Hemispheres

If you live in the Northern hemisphere, please cast your mind back...say, to mid April.  Early mornings were just - just- becoming discernibly lighter and in my neck of the woods, we were just -just-  starting to mention the pleasure of hearing the Dawn Chorus.  The wonder of Nature making the birdies happy to see in each new day that little by little was lighter, warmer and helpful to them for the raising of the sweet little ones. I should add that here in Southern England, this bucolic scene was often punctured by the sound of pouring rain. well, it would be wouldn't it, it was Spring.

Now roll forward a little to the end of May, when Spring really is required to turn into June and therefore Summer.  Hmm, by now, I'm slightly (terribly) annoyed by the birds at 4am, and even more annoyed at the rain, maybe not so persistent, but still too regular for my summer liking. 

So, in my characteristically calm and quiet way, I start to long for our break in the sun.  Where mornings are so quiet that you could sleep through them and our European neighbours are so polite that they don't mention the time of day when we finally stagger onto the patio to inspect the day.

Ah. Well, there's a problem with that. See this monumental palm?  

Planted ten years ago, the weediest in the street and the source of many poor taste jokes from drunken patio parties. Yeah, turns out that it's the noisiest tree EVER. Really. It's not an alarm clock, it isn't a disguised music speaker.  It is a real palm tree. The spikey leaf things seem to rub together and creak. And the sound they make is of....POURING rain.

And there are long hangy down seedy bits that eventually the gardens maintenance guys will cut down.  Covered in pollen enjoying Spanish bees.  Great for everyone, no doubt.  Also no doubt, they are the NOISIEST little hummers you have ever heard.

I've had my share of holidays that include repetitions of 'Una Paloma Blanca' from the hotel bar until four in the morning, I wear ear defenders when I'm erm, being helpful in the workshop...I know what real noise is.  I just didn't expect to be persued by the sound of rain. Is it my age, global warming, nature...all of the above? Do I need to permanently change hemispheres? I may give it serious consideration.  So another note for my poor Executor: absolutely under no circumstances will music at my funeral include or consist of anything that could be misconstrued as a rain maker. I will not have my guests dancing to the sound of the rain!