Friday, 29 October 2010

How do you do it?

Yesterday, mid morning, mid workshop. Sun shining through the windows of the shop, defying forecasts. Eight women, busily making cards. We're having a very sociable time. Nothing like a big table and some crafting to make you feel like a chat. A relative newcomer to the world of Thursday workshops is Willpower Woman. She's lost three and half stone and still refuses cakes biscuits and sweets without so much as looking up. No fuss, no showing off. So unlike me - I'm full of admiration.
Last week, Willpower Woman and I spent a good couple of hours chatting over coffee while I was *cough* being a shopkeeper. Naturally, when she left, she had a bag with some craft shopping in it. Bling, I seem to remember, and ribbon, for sure. So yesterday I asked her if she'd managed to add the new stash to the existing work desk collection without it bein
g noticed. She laughed and indeed confirmed that she'd felt pretty clever in sneaking the bag past Mike. Well, that set everyone off in turn, about how they deal with their purchases - as in, how the bag physically gets across the threshold of the house and into stash central. Isn't it amazing, and funny, how our guilt manifests itself! Some leave the bag in the car until the other half goes out or at the least, upstairs. Some transfer it into a familiar shopping bag and breeze in with it, all front and pretence.....stroll casually past the partner and then leggit to the desk. No doubt that it seems not to be truly un-returnable until it's safely stashed - or added to the general work on the desk top. Then ownership can begin. I suspect this is more about the feeling that if it's on the desk it kinda just gets 'absorbed' into the general 'stuff' and can't be told apart as new or not - unless you're the one that has just acquired it of course!
Mr Dunnit seems utterly immune to my matter-of-fact approach
to this dilemma. I front it out - just walk past him and dump the bag on my desk...almost daring him to say something. He never does. There are moments when I feel guilty about the amount I shop (wouldn't be blogging about it otherwise, probably!). I can' logicalise' this for you though dear interweb......I shouldn't feel guilty; after all, I'm not spending any money that isn't mine and we're not going without food or shoes because of my habit. It's because he DOESN'T complain that I feel guilty - it would seem (in my head) that I should have the opportunity to raise my voice and make my point about my financial independence. *more coughing*. So it's his fault. And still he smiles; he knows that he's twisting the guilt knife when he says that it makes him happy if I'm happy. And he knows I know. Which is why he does it. He thinks it's funny. Which is probably how (or why) we're still together. Someone want to logicalise that one for me?!!

Thanks for asking about the Manga costume, I promise to show it when Miss D gets back from convention with the promised kerjillion pics...I'm not really one to miss a showing off opportunity, now am I?! And if you're reading this and booked into the 2 Scrap Ladies Card Marathon tomorrow - go to bed, it's an early start!

26 comments:

Sandra Rowney said...

I know that feeling. Today I visited our Norwich University College of the Arts (NUCA) shop. I'd been invited me as an alumni to shop there. Aladdin's Cave at cut prices. I braved it out on return. I really did need all that stuff. Honest. Especially the little red gadget that helps me draw around corners.

Doone said...

i asked Niall a similar question - do you still love me event hough you know me through and through?

I'm still here was his reply...

love eh?

no logic to it i'm afraid...

Dx

madebyKarla said...

LOL, I do it just like you. I never hide my stash. It comes right in to the house and if I'm really excited about a particular purchase I show it off to him....not that he really cares but he indulges me.

I'm with Doone, it's love, not logic ;)

kelly said...

off to bed now mum!!! see you bright and early :)

Peace said...

I am lucky enough to have a hubby who loves the craft stores and second hand shops as much as I do, and HE'S the one that I have to say no to or he'll buy every single thing I point out, and we can not afford that! Since I'm the budget maker, my guilt is only toward myself, and I don't feel THAT bad, LOL! Plus when i do go overboard i still blame HIM -"You let me do it!" :OD

Pam said...

This did make me smile! My OH has totally bought into the idea that my little hobby is totally self funding from any sales I make so much so that he actually quite proudly tells any one this that questions the cost of my hobby. He even now and again buys me the odd thing to pay for the cards he pinches from my stash for his team at work, friends etc. Have a great day at your card marathon. Hugs Pam x

Rosie said...

Mine doesn't mind what I buy either - and why should he? It's MY money! Plus (bid for sympathy here) I don't get out much, buy zillions or new clothes etc, and craft stash is my true delight and consolation in the limited life I have now. So why do I sound like I feel guilty about it???? Duh.

Sam said...

LOL! This made me laugh! As I mostly order online my OH is normally at work when the stash arrives! Problem comes when I have been at work and return to find a card from the postie and then I have to get OH to drive me to the post office! I take comfort in the knowledge that he knows its paper and probably thinks its a couple of pence a sheet, he'd have a fit if he actually knew how much stash costs!I tend to rid myself of guilt by buying him a playstation game occasionally!

triciasconfetti said...

My Dh is a smoker so I tend to justify my buying with ' It didn't cost as much as you have smoked this week'. Only trouble is he never realises that I have probably said that three times this week!!!
Truley he is very forgiving as long as he gets his smokes and we eat well and all the bills are paid then he assumes we can afford it.
Love him to bits
x Tricia

Kaz said...

Ah the joys of singledom, it's only myself that I have to sneak the stuff past!! Mind you, if my parents are round when the postie arrives, it all changes. I NEVER open the packaging until I'm alone. But once that credit card bill arrives, I am in big trouble with myself!! xx

Karen said...

Awe...I don't stand a chance at all with anything that come through the post...which is most of it!!! The parcels are dropped into our office & hubby takes delight in bringing them up hahaha!!! He doesn't say a thing either and yes...that does make me feel guilty....but only sometimes hahaha XXX

Elizabeth said...

I'm incredibly lucky, my husband is just so relieved that I have found something to replace real work that he only questions where I'm going to put it all. You see, I retired at the end of last year and as I was a workaholic he thought that I would find retirement too stressful. Well, thankfully, not so because I discovered distress inks, embossing powders, shimmers, markers, glitter, ribbons, mulberry flowers, bling, etc - it keeps me so busy I don't feel retired and DH is delighted - he will only ever have to buy cards for me in future! :) Elizabeth

Helen said...

I used to have a husband who enjoyed the craft too, but had to throw him out to make room for the stash (I joke, it was his choice, lol) but your post (as always) made me laugh.
Have a great day at the card marathon.

Carmen said...

Yep am chuckling away here. Have to admit I don't have any of this with Craig in fact he has bought me some bits when I have recoiled in horror at the price. I think it's because if he was to hurrumph at my hobby I would damn quickly be out to his shed totting up the price of his birds and feed and cages... but then his does pretty much support itself because he breeds and so sells. I think he must just be lovely. Damn.

Must admit I am coming close to dipping my toe in the selling waters, see if MY hobby would pay for itself a bit ;)

Ann said...

Your post made me chuckle again, Julia, as I imagine you walking past Mr Dunnitt and him smiling to himself as he 'winds you up' by keeping silent. I'm sure it's a game that keeps you both on your toes, and cements your relationship in it's own way.
My Hubby, as you know, has OCD and cannot leave the house for more that a day, so we can never go away on holidays. When stash parcels arrive at our house he just says, 'You deserve it dear'. I'm sure that's an element of guilt on his behalf coming through, even though I don't complain (very often) about needing a nice holiday! ;)

Carolynne said...

I don't ask how much he spends on his fishing and he returns the favour by not asking me how much I spend on crafty stash. In fact I went to the Hobbycrafts show in Glasgow today and he actually GAVE me money to spend. I knew there was a reason why I loved him LOL

xx

Caz said...

Chuckling along with everyone else. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who's hobby can get as expensive as mine! He builds and flies radio controlled model aircraft so he gets little packages the same as I do - just not as many!! I also feel guilty when the credit card bill comes in but I do pay my own bill, don't smoke or drink, rarely go shopping so I try not to feel too guilty......... and I have a stressful job so I have to have some stress relief in the evenings and weekends!!!

Kathy said...

Hi Julia
Trying to catch up - was away on the IOM for a few days and then came back and spent most of last week under the duvet feeling rotten. I've missed sooooo much.
Hope the crafting marathon has been a big success.
As for the stash question - as long as the mess doesn't encroach on his bit of the study I'm oksy, OH deals with all the receipts etc so there's no sneaking my spends past him anyway!

Sandra Rowney said...

Thinking about your blogpost ....this morning I stopped at a car boot sale and bought a much wanted pair of molegrips for HIS stash. Smiles all round.

Ginny said...

fab LO, love the orange..

I havent brought much stash since we did the move n he (and I) saw how much I had.. AND he saw a whole box of MS punches with the prices still on DUH!!! tho I must admit nowdays most of my purchases are digital...waaaay to easy for him not to notice..lol

LadyBug said...

I deal with new stash very similar to yourself. just walk in, dump said stash bag on desk and walk away. Trav rarely mentions anything new but i have fall back comments if he does. He spends three times as much as I do on his hobbies, computers and cameras!

Lizzie J said...

Oh this is good.
Well, I have 3 strategies I use to get new stash - particularly equipment into the house passed hubbie.
No 1) Its Doone's and I'm borrowing it
No 2) It's Doone's Christmas/Birthday/Easter/'whatever the next holiday event is' present
No 3) "Oh I've had this ages"
I'm sure he's cottoned on to the fact that everytime I go near a craft shop I always walk away with more stash but he hasn't said anything. Best way to get stash into the house? Leave it in my car boot (trunk) until he's gone out then bring it all in and hide it in the humungous cupboard in my craft room.;)

Jennie said...

Julia,
I can't really say I have a habit of buying from shops, well ok I do indulge sometimes..but it's just the NEED to have it, especially if it is new and I just have to make something with it to sell it, sort of , kind of thing! In fact I don't always show him, but he knows how much I love my crafting that he even spends hours on the net looking for me , and my Christmas present is a steal!! Craft related of course!!! lol It must be love.. if not then the man is a fool!!

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I have a lot of catching up to do before tomorrow's blog marathon. I read with interest about guilty purchases. My friend Dana used to leave HALF her purchases in her car trunk so her husband didn't see how much she bought. Since I've never had to answer to anyone, or feel guilty about spending money to anyone but myself, I found that hard to understand. Now I read it's not uncommon. What we learn as we travel the world of blogdom. And as understanding as your hubby is, I KNOW why you two are still married.

Chrissie said...

Brilliant post Julia!
Most of my stuff is bought online and as my husband spends much of his day in the study which is immediately opposite to the front door, he is the one on postman duty when the bell rings announcing the arrival of something too large to fit through the letterbox.
He's resigned to the fact that I NEED it and says nothing!
Chrissie

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