Thursday, 11 February 2010

I have just finished the third-in-a-row Tunnock's tea cake. If you don't live in Great Britain, you need to know that they are domes of soft marshmallow sitting on a soft biscuit base, totally encased in chocolate. The skill in eating these is to bite off the base, eat it (of course) and then remove the marshmallow without using your fingers, so you have to contort your tongue. Sorry, but you do. AND all before the chocolate shell starts to melt from being held. Oh yum, and oh hell. Knowing that I can eat two, maybe three without even breaking my stride means that I don't buy 'em. But this afternoon, I was in the Co-Op doing village gossip with a friend that works there and I spied the teacakes on the shelf behind my chum. I stopped hearing, my vision became all tunnelled and panicky - they've changed the packaging! Oh Lord..please don't tell me that they aren't any longer a family business, established for over a 100 years? Not them and Cadbury's in the same month, surely? Nooooooo. Phew! Investigations reveal that the colour change to the packaging is because this particular batch of yumminess is encased in dark chocolate. Oh be still my heart. Somebody shake me. The sweet sticky white messy meringuey marshmallow offset by a dark, possibly slightly bitter chocolate. I can't, cannot, will not be able to think of anything else until I've tried 'em. So, gossip be damned, I headed off to the till armed with my new chocolate friends. It was all I could do to walk home before I ripped the box open. They are, without doubt, perfect. And therefore, another product on my 'do-not-buy-if-you're-going-to-be-alone-at-home-with-them' list. Because of course, I can hear them calling my name, even above the sound of the radio and my own, massive will power. Creme Eggs are on the list too. My own sense of embarrassment makes me stop at three. But I won't be sharing them. No sir. And the last one? Will take ages to be eaten...ages. Because it may well be the last one I ever buy. I can't share the gossip either. But that's because I can't remember a word of it. Share your love then....tell me your guilty sweet secrets.....I can't absolve you, but I won't tell another living soul.
The card: Making Memories heart paper, and folio paper, Basic Grey Sugar Rush paper (heart), Hero Arts alpha stamps, SU! binder edge punch

28 comments:

Pam said...

Julia I know where you are coming from I tried these a few months ago and now have to close my eyes when go down the biscuit aisle of morrisons (other supermarkets are available !)they are also on par with tunnocks caramel log but only the ones coated in toasted coconut! Today at work I was typing away on a document that taken me 3 days to collate and is still not finished when in a moment of distraction a picture of a cream slice popped into my head unfortunately I had do with a choc bar from the vending machine, so i headed off popped my money in pressed the number and instead of the craved for mars bar I was presented with an alpine bar who eats mouth fulls of sawdust???Hugs Pam x

Wipso said...

Oh Julia. I have just read that after the day from hell. I haven't stopped all day. I have had customer after customer here needing their sewing done by the weekend. You get the picture? Well, I now have tears running down my face. You have made me laugh and I thank you so much for ending my day on a high note.
Huge hugs,
A x

Anne said...

I ate three creme eggs yesterday.

You are the only person I have told.

!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandie Grisé said...

alright- now for me to try a new treat ;-) I'll keep you posted on how I like them- heh heh heh

Rosie said...

Waddya trying to do - KILL ME?? I've been on a diet for MONTHS, and do not require blow by blow detailed descriptions of such gorgeous confections. Kindly desist, or I might have to come round and eat that other one .....

Paula Gale said...

My faves are jammy dodgers. These need to be dunked in hot coffee until the jam goes sticky - 2 bites and they're gone. I eve started the jammie dodgers appreciation society at work.. There were two members!!!

I also like midget gems and salted peanuts all in the mouth together. yumster!!!

I can just imagine your friend in the shop losing your attention to a pack of teacakes!!!

Paula x x x

Helen said...

Oh, my. I need to look out for some of these. My stomach is rumbling at the thought (though it may be that I am meant to be cooking dinner NOT catching up on blog updates first) - I have too many guilty sweet secrets to share with you, sorry!

Lyn said...

LOLOLOLOL! I even put my computer sound on whilst reading this to see if I could actually hear the little mmmmmmmmm and other moany noises from reliving the orgasmic experience of eating those squidgy chocolately tea cakes!

Priceless, Mrs Dunnit, absolutely priceless!

Gez said...

Mmmmm delish. I love Tunnock's too but do it totally the other way round! choc shell 1st, suck off the marshmellow & then the base! I've just read your fantastic post aloud to hubby who says he eats them whole!! where's the fun in that!! Mmmm creme eggs...xx

Milliesmarvels said...

I love Tunnocks tea cakes too but do them the other way around to you, marshmallow 1st, then biscuit. I luuuuurve Creme eggs. When my eldest was born and I came back down to the ward, my MIL had brought me a box of 6. As soon as everyone left and Ryan was asleep, I ate all of them in one go! Well, I had been through 11 hour labour and missed a couple of meals! 3 or 4 is my limit in one sitting now though :-)
Jane
x

Nikki said...

OMG JULIA your writing PORN for ...chocoholics lol only thing your lacking is the picture of the chocolate without out the wrapper and maybe a bite or two out of it lol

Yes it did make me twitch my desk I was going to do one more box but I couldn't deal with the 1st 2 hee hee email me for your digi which one you'd like Look here elusionary (at) hotmail (dot) com

hugs Nikki

Handmade with Love said...

Oh my goodness you do make me laugh, you should be a writer you are so descriptive! My thing is digestives, plain with a huge cup of tea and at least 5 in one sitting, no less! Love the card by the way that alpha stamp is gorgeous! Tracey x

Sheilagh (60 x60) said...

You Wicked Wicked Woman!!!
What are you trying to do to me?
I have broken out in a cold sweat
and so want to go buy a pack...
Get thee behind me Satan.....
Swoon................

Charlie said...

Not sure I tried these - but I know Tunnocks snowballs and they are yummy too. Been there done that - Icecream or candy can be safe in my house as long as it has not been opened - the minute someone breaks the seal I can hear the little voices - scary isn't it - calling for me to come and eat them. Glad to know it's normal - well maybe not - but at least glad to know I am not alone. Take care and thanks for making my day - you have a very funny way of describing everyday situations. Love coming here.

Littleted62 said...

NO NO NO! You've got it the wrong way round - you have to nibble off the chocolate dome, then slurp up the marshmallow, then eat the biscuit last of all... then lick the chocolate off your fingers! Oh, it's a fine art, this biscuity thing...

Thanks for a really funny post!

Hugs, Nicki

Sam said...

I love Tunnocks tea cakes!! But I could easily forego the creme eggs - I just don't like the inner stuff that much.

Anonymous said...

you're a mad woman!!!....its got to be the other way round though...nibble off top, then, dunk in the tongue...mmm!!!

Bethan

Hels said...

Ooooh,. I haven't had a Tunnocks teacake for about twenty years...actually, that is a fib, i had one last week ROFL I love them loads and can eat forty seven in one sitting..hence my big fat backside ROFL....and...Creme Eggs are BOGOF for boxes of 6 in a supermarket that begins with T and ends in ESCO... so you could eat 6 in one go on the drive home and no one would know ... see, I do try to help LOL xx

Angie said...

Tunnocks Tea cakes rule ...did you actually find the blue lable plain choc ones. Eating them is a joy and an art .....I remove the choc using teeth and tongue then devour the yummy mashmallow in a couple of sturdy licks and lastly pop the base in whole. 3 is no problem lol.
The original Walnut whips were a great fav of mine ...especially when they added several flavours to the range ....there was an art to eating those too. I also LOVE dunking a bar of choc into hot coffee and slowly licking off the melted heaven before dunking again .....OMG ... why is there no chocolate in the house

airing cupboard crafts said...

OMG and going on a hunt in tescos now!!! Not a fan of Creme eggs though much prefer the cadburys caramel ones not 3 of those is no problem!!!

my5bratz said...

gawd I think I put on weight just reading this post... we don't have those here in Oz, thank god..lol

p.s the pressie is for the other half for sunday, not that he deserves it, lol....and did you notice my old mate JD is still hanging around my desk:)

Kate said...

Lol you are so funny, I can see the headlines now 'Mysterious rise in Tinnocks sales'. Are they the same people that make that caramel, wafer choc biscuit in the red and silver wrapper? ** Kate **

Susie Sugar said...

Love this card Julia its beautiful
Hugs Susie xx

louthebosswood said...

Julia, my lovely dolly diva, love your writing!! Lou x

Natalie said...

Julia! Thanks for commenting on my blog. To answer your questions:
The little bottles on top are DewDrops. Or also called Skittles, or Robin Eggs.
The can of Pledge was there because I was cleaning up my glass slides after soldering. No fancy technique with that stuff lol.
The Twilight ticket is kept because I absolutely ADORE that series. Lol..I'm like a little kid I swear. And the LOVE thing is a coaster. But I did make a soldered piece with 2 other of those coasters and added my daughters pic in between. That's on my blog also. xoxo

Carmen said...

I've not seen this new variety! How is that possible? I must mount a search immediately.

Can't stand creme eggs, it's the fondant stuff in the iddle - yech. Craig is the same as you so one valentines day I went and bought him the whole box off the shelf at the Co-Op. Was actually cheaper than buying him a swanky box of chocolates which would have much less chocolate. Do you know I think he shared 2 with the girls. Woofed the rest himself - still talks about it now 6 years later! *g*

I have been known to eat a whole Sara Lee double chocolate gateaux to myself. Not the huge ones but the ones that supposedly serve 8 and if you cut them in half you'd be lucky to call that a portion. I love those - can't have them in the house.

I can't believe this post was by the same person who caused such a fuss about me having sugar in my tea!

ginny said...

have you tried the snowball, you cant be sneakey with these as the coconut usually drops all over you and the googy middle usually end up round my lips (dead giveaway when you come out of the cupboard) my real weakness is thorntons i will pick 6-8 choc and make the deceison i will make them last a week on diet at s.world so think will put in fridge and eat slowly that night only 1 a day, little devils never make it back to car, sometimes i even go back for more

Traceyr said...

hahaha just saw this as I was scrolling down your blog!

I love Tunnocks too but for me it has to be the Caramel Wafers - milk chocolate version. I have convinced myself that these are good for me like fruit and as so count as one of your 5 a day.

lol ;)